I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
