So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
