Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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