I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
FUCK WHALES
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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