i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
