Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
