Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
