is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
