The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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