I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
