girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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