she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
