I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
