I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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