I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
