what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize