I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
