So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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