Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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