You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
