I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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