Im at strip club and am horny
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize