this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
