sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
