There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
