Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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