Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
