Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize