come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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