I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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