great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
