Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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