I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
