Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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