Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
