Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Someone shattered a urinal.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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