belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize