last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
