how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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