Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
