If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
