He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
