hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
