I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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