Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
