Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
