she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
