Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I will be naked everywhere
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
