i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
