what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
