And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize