Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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