i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we're making bets on your personal life
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
