I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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