are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
