There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
