a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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