I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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