Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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