the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
