Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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