I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
