hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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