he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want her autograph on my taint
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
