I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
