so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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