What did we do last night that was yellow?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
