didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
