I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
