I wish I only lived at night.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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