may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
