I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
