there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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