if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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