Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Randomize
